i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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