Only a mothe r could love this liver
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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