I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Let's get the cat blown out
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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