Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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