if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
