bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The uberlube is also flammable
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
