My hand turned me down
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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