I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
