Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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