I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
