I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
