There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
