my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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