alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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