He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
