we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize