Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
