forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
