Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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