idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
