Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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