idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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