We're facebook friends in real life
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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