there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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