M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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