Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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