hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
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