Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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