Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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