don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
