Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
