You really coming over, don't trick.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
