I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
