i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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