just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
