She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
