Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
