u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
i think im in europe. pls send help
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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