i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
