It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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