It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
