Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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