new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
