she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
