chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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