I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
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