you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
