Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
