I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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