NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
