Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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