I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
